Scariest moment yet

At 10:28 this morning I experienced one of my scariest moments of motherhood yet.

We were enjoying some playtime outside. Liam was going up and down the slide and Maddox had set up a construction site behind my chair using part of the grass and part of the patio for his trucks and cones. I was drinking coffee, admiring the sunshine, that we had not seen in nearly a week, what with the buckets of rain mother nature had dumped down on us. I had even just 'Instagrammed" a picture showing the blue skies.

So there is the scene. One son directly in front of me, sliding joyously. The other son, working so hard on his construction site. I turn to ask him how it was coming along, and he was not there. An empty spot in the middle of his site, where he had just been playing. 

Seriously, I think I threw up a little. I jumped up. Screaming for him. I ran to the front of our house and ran around the entire way, making my way to the back of the house again, repeatedly, screaming his name "MADDOX" at the top of my lungs, in shear panic. Checked behind the garage. No Maddox. Suddenly realized, I had left Liam ALONE in the backyard, made my way to him and grabbed him from the slide, STILL screaming Maddox's name and "HELP", pressing the number "9" on my phone, preparing to make what was going to be the worst phone call of my life, to report my 3 year old son missing, the back door opened and out came Maddox, saying "I had to go pee." 

I cried, he cried. We talked about how he needs to tell me when he is going inside. I told him how scared I was. How thankful I was that he was sitting with me the chair. He cried some more. I shook for nearly 30 minutes. Even writing this now, I am shaking. 

We have nice neighbors. We all cordially say "hello". Ask about each others kids. Let each other know when we are heading out of town. No one... no one... checked on us. A midst my screams (and running around our yard like a crazy woman), which our many elderly neighbors I am sure did not hear, but others had to have heard, no one checked on us. I would like to believe everyone was at work... 

I hope I never experience that fear again.